Attention all trinket lovers, your next must-buy piece of garbage has just arrived. For years, mom 'n pop stores (not to mention Cracker Barrel Country Stores) have raked in serious profits selling wooden animals with round knobs for feet, but now those manual farm-derived masseurs are likely out of a job. The USB Animal Massager ups the ante in a serious way by getting powered by USB, meaning that you won't even have to lift a finger as you watch that dog, panda or pig go to town on your toes or aching back. $10 spells relief (and embarrassment, but whatever).

[Thanks, Fanny]

Put down that Lego nerd, it's time to give your (only?) other interest a poke. Meet the $68 animatronic Darth Vader and R2D2 USB hubs. Just stuff a USB Princess Leia into Darth's neck and watch the dark lord's eyes glow red as he scans side-to-side for the pretentious scowls of your contemptuous co-workers. Sounds effects? Oh you betcha, listen in after the break.

[Via Oh Gizmo!]

Consider yourselves fortunate. You've had well over two whole months without an episode of Crapgadget, but today, that grace period ends. The most recent laughable load includes an absolutely vile wristwatch that supposedly plays MP3s / MP4s if you can manage to glance away from the bezel and band. Furthermore, we've got a TV tuner and webcam -- in one -- alongside a way-too-expensive WiFi sniffing pen that doesn't do 802.11n. Bringing up the rear is Connectland's 180° X2 Revolving USB Hub, which clearly raises the bar in USB hub design stupidity. Per usual, we're begging for your vote on the crappiest below, but we'll understand if you just can't bear the thought of spending another moment thinking about these pitiful creations.

Admit it, you've spent a good many sweat-drenched months waiting for this moment, when the USB necktie would come into its own. Sure, last year's model was great and all, but it lacked a certain amount of class that you find necessary in any USB-based fashion accessory. So you played the waiting game, and this time it paid off big. Thanko's second-gen USB tie fan has a slip cover, which hides the fan completely when you're going about your day, and slides down to reveal that powerful fan when it's most needed. Also, this year's model is made out of fabric, a huge win over the chunky plastic of last year's version, making this tie the true must-have accessory of the summer. Thanko's selling this in Japan for 2,980 Yen, about $28 US. What a steal.

[Via Pocket-lint]

Though there are plenty of whatever-to-USB adapters out there, this critter just tickles our fancy with its extraordinary utility. The SATA / CF / IDE to USB 2.0 Bridge Adapter enables owners to connect CompactFlash cards, SATA drives and even IDE drives to any computer with a spare USB 2.0 port. Which is like, every computer made since forever ago. Usually, we'd suggest that practically every travel pack should possess one of these, but the cheapskate in us still feels the $22 price tag is a few notches too high.

Korg really wants you to downsize your studio with its new lineup of miniature controllers, dubbed the nanoSeries. The diminutive set includes the nanoKEY (a 25-note, velocity sensitive keyboard), the nanoPAD (12 trigger pads and a touch-sensitive X/Y touchpad), and the nanoKONTROL (a mini-mixer with nine faders, nine knobs, 18 switches, and playback controls). The modular, lilliputian gear connects via USB and are all bus-powered, though we're hoping they've got other power options so the devices can be daisy-chained. No word on pricing or availability, but you'll know when we do.

[Thanks, Tom]

Update: Looks like the Nano Pad, Nano Key, and Nano Kontrol should be available by this October, starting at somewhere around $100-120 US. Thanks, Tosse.

Nothing captures the public's attention faster than a sensational accusation. Pit industry heavyweights like AMD and NVIDIA against Intel and you've got yourself an LA-style courtroom drama. On one side of the bench we see AMD and NVIDIA, stamping their feet and insisting that Intel is keeping the USB 3.0 spec under wraps in order to lock vendors into Intel chipsets. On the other, Intel, tonguing a bittersweet no we're not raspberry right back at the pair. In a lengthy retort, Intel claims, (1) it's not its spec to hide -- it's owned by the USB 3.0 Promoter Group consisting of HP, Intel, Microsoft, NEC, NXP, and TI; and (2) the "gazillions of dollars and bazillions of man hours" Intel has spent developing the royalty-free USB 3.0 controller spec (a 3.0 "dummies guide") is meant to ensure that the industry can start building the USB 3.0 spec into their silicon as quickly as possible after its release later this year. Of course, Intel offers plenty of verbiage to support its claims. But in a case of he-said, she-said, the truth may never be known to the titillated outsiders who've likely made up their minds anyway.

[Via PCWorld]

We've seen some early USB 3.0 gear here and there, but it looks like the successor to everyone's favorite serial bus is off to a rocky start, with AMD and NVIDIA claiming that Intel is withholding crucial specifications necessary to develop an open host controller. Although Intel apparently already has working silicon, it's not willing to share -- so AMD and NVIDIA are working on a competing spec that will be introduced alongside Intel's. The first meeting of the alternate spec group is scheduled for next week, according to sources, but there could be problems with this diverging roadmap down the line: sources close to Intel say that the only reason the specs haven't been released is that they're not done, and that Intel doesn't want incompatible chipsets based on different versions of the spec out there. Sure, sure, but we're certain both sides are playing a little fast and loose with reality here -- good thing all these fools have until 2010 to get this sorted.

[Via Everything USB]

Apparently ASUS thinks that people will want a tiny computer which they can delicately slip into their back pocket, but would also be interested in carrying around a slew of cabled peripherals. Hence the creation of this USB "handwriting pad" for the Eee -- not to be confused with a steam-rolled Dreamcast controller (VMU included, of course). Honestly, when the plastic takes up more space than the screen, things might not be as "handy" as you suspect. Guys, Sega and 1998 called, they want their design back.

[Via Pocket-lint]

DisplayLink monitors are fine and dandy, but what if you're looking to get that PowerPoint presentation even bigger? Enter InFocus' IN3100 / IN1100 series of multimedia projectors, both of which claim to be the first of their kind with DisplayLink embedded. With a simple USB-to-PC connection, the beamers blast whatever totally boring and equally insignificant chart you're being forced to speak on upside the wall. As for specs, we're left in the dark with regard to resolution (hint: don't set your expectations too high), but the IN3100 series boasts 3,000 to 3,500 lumens and a 2,000:1 contrast ratio while the IN1100 series offers up 2,000 lumens and an 1,800:1 contrast ratio. You can slap the former (starting at $1,499) on your corporate card later this month, but you'll be waiting until early August before nabbing the $1,099 and up IN1100.

Some wily web browsers have found a job listing at Nintendo of America that suggests the game company is finally getting serious about USB support for the Wii. The job search, found a few days ago, was for a "Software/Hardware Tester" who can execute a "test plan for Wii's USB devices." Some think this could mean compatibility for external USB storage devices like hard drives and flash drives given the Wii's limited 512MB internal memory. We, however, hope this means some sort of support for USB keyboards. It's about time, isn't it, Nintendo?

We originally spotted ASUS' DisplayLink-equipped VW223B back at CeBIT, but now it -- alongside the 20.1-inch VW202B -- is finally available. Both LCDs boast a WSXGA+ (1,680 x 1,050) resolution, 300 cd/m2 brightness, a 1,000:1 contrast ratio, 5-millisecond response time and VGA / USB 2.0 connectors. The USB functionality is being coined EzLink by ASUS, but it's no different than the DisplayLink you've grown to know and love. As per ASUS' apparent internal guidelines, it has completely failed in dishing out pricing information for the freshly available duo, but hey, at least we know they're out there!

It only makes sense to go all expensive on the things you look at most often, like your TV, car, or -- in this case -- your keyboard. For only (!!) $155, you too can get a handmade Nishi-Ki USB keyboard. Yours is sure to be the object of typist envy cube farm-wide. Nishi-ki keyboards pack 86 keys and work via USB or PS/2 interfaces. Sorry, Mac users, no Command keys.

[Via BoingBoing]

We're big fans of SATA HDD docks that let you quickly access whole drives like noisy, overgrown memory sticks. An earlier unit offered just USB connectivity to your Mac or PC, later adding eSATA before rounding out its options with FireWire. Now we have a new model that still accepts bare 2.5- and 3.5-inch disks on top, but ditches the FireWire connectivity on the back in exchange for a card reader and two-port USB hub on the front -- perfect for plugging in storage of the smaller and quieter variety.

Creative is stretching that X-Fi family once more, this time with its external Sound Blaster X-Fi Surround 5.1. The USB-powered device is apparently geared towards laptops (well, ones without ExpressCard slots) itching for surround sound, and aside from the unicorn-like 24-bit Crystalizer and CMSS-3D technologies, you'll find RCA outputs, an optical digital audio output, headphone out / microphone in jacks and all those X-Fi enhancements you're sure to end up overlooking. It's available now for the halfway respectable price of $59.99.

[Via CNET]